Shocking nobody, I didn't make it into WalkingCityOCT
I'm not surprised. My entry was awful, and I made every single mistake I've made every other time I've auditioned for these things. I took unnecessary risks (Kez's comic-in-a-ref-sheet and elaborate ref sheets in general) that did nothing but waste time and make it seem like I never learned a fucking thing from my past mistakes. The Cure was the only time I ever finished before the deadline, but that was such a goddamn mess and I kept throwing in poorly thought-out references for who knows why.
I feel like no matter how much I could actually put into these auditions, I'll always have the same problems that are just hard-wired into my brain. I'll never be able to see what's wrong with my script because I have no way to see how the problems look in full form before the deadline because of all the time I sink into making the damn comic in the first place. Almost all of my time was wasted on actually developing and designing my characters, which amounted to nothing because they still looked and read as terrible bland hackneyed piles of shit while everyone else was churning out characters without an ounce of effort and able to realize their ideas and build their pictures painstakingly and effortlessly. I have no other artist of my ilk, let alone actual artist friends who do this, to give me advice on these things to better address the problems I always face. I don't understand why it takes so long for me to figure anything out for my concepts, or why it's so hard to figure out personalities and stories, or why I can never write my characters for shit when I have to zoom in on the big picture elements I'm so much more apt at coming up with.
Coupled with my arduous pacing at failing to balance work, life, and free time, I have no way to step away from my work to see enough to change and then recover from the blows I have to give because god fucking knows my process is never gonna lead to anything that will get accepted.